Revenge of Two Whales.. funny..
Two whales are swimming in the ocean when the come upon a whaling ship.
The one whales looks to the other and says "HEY, thats the ship that killed my brother!"
The other whale says "What do you wanna do?"
The first whales says, "Alright, here's the plan; were gonna go to the surface fill our lungs full of air and go right underneath the boat and blow as hard as we can! Our air will flip the boat and all the men will fall in the water and drown!"
Second whale says "Okay, lets do it".
So they get their lungs full, they dive down beneath the boats hidden from the whalers. They blow as hard as they can and flip the boat with literal ease.
The whales swim back and watch as the men struggle to survive.
The first whale looks to the second and says "Man, they really aren't drowning like I wanted them to, we've got to do something!"
Second whale says, "Okay, what would you like to do?"
First whale says, "Lets eat them!"
Second whale stops him and says "Whoa, whoa, whoa, I agreed to the blow job, but i'm not swallowing the seamen."
A tweet by a man who claimed he had cancelled an Ola cab booking because the driver was Muslim went viral over the weekend. Abhishek Mishra tweeted that he cancelled his booking because he did not want to give money to "Jihadi People." Amid anger and outrage, many on Twitter reacted to the controversy with humour. The phrase "cancelled Ola cab booking" quickly became a meme with thousands tweeting their reasons for cancelling their cabs.
Professor Ernest Brennecke of Columbia is credited with inventing a sentence that can be made to have eight different meanings by placing ONE WORD in all possible positions in the sentence:
*"I kissed her in the train yesterday."*
The word is *"ONLY"*.
1. ONLY I kissed her in the train yesterday. (No one else did).
2. I ONLY kissed her in the train yesterday. (Confirmation)
3. I kissed ONLY her in the train yesterday. (I did not kiss others).
4. I kissed her ONLY in the train yesterday (I did not kiss outside the train).
5. I kissed her in ONLY the train yesterday (Not other places).
6. I kissed her in the ONLY train yesterday (no other train that day).
7. I kissed her in the train ONLY yesterday (Not today).
8. I kissed her in the train yesterday ONLY (Did not wait for today).
This is the beauty and complexity of the English language...!!!!
Just think of this....
1. If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?
2. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?
3. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?
4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?
5. Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
6. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
7. The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims".
8. 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
9. If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them.
10. Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.
11. If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in it than there were before.
After graduating as an engineer with first class and getting a decent job in a regional engineering company, under tremendous pressure from my family to get married, I went to meet this girl under the arranged marriage system. It was my first such experience of meeting a girl in such conditions. And the girl rejected me outright on my face. I of course moved on and got married to another girl a year later.
After 20 years, I saw the same beautiful lady at a traffic signal with her husband in a brand new Audi. And I was trying to kickstart my Activa scooter because the battery start was not working. She looked out of the car and briefly looked at me but without any hint of recognition, moves her eyes away!
At that moment, after driving a two wheeler for over 25 years, first time in my life I realized the value of a helmet
So always wear a helmet in your own safety!
Issues in public interest by a concerned citizen
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