HOT

Qantas Airlines: Repair Division

In case you need a laugh :
Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident..


P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny............ (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

2017-09-12 14:44:23 by SekarGV

Related Tufs

default thumb image

Bengali My grandfather lived for96

default thumb image

Revenge of Two Whales funnyTwo

My Hopes and Dreams get

My Hopes and Dreams get

Are you looking for a

Are you looking for a

default thumb image

This is a good oneA

Central Governments Scholarship

Central Governments Scholarship

Good morning Images

Good morning Images

Gujarat barber beaten up for

Gujarat barber beaten up for

user

Popular Tufs

A meaningful silence is always

A meaningful silence is always

Happy birthday Rahul dravid

Happy birthday Rahul dravid

Rama setu was passable upto

Rama setu was passable upto

A Magnitude 62 Powerful Earthquake

A Magnitude 62 Powerful Earthquake

Tufing.com

Submit and share your interesting website links in our online social networking site.